Violence! Kids Learn From Watching Adults! Please Remember It!

This video really made me think about how we behave in front of children.

So please watch it.


We know that our behavior influences children, so why aren’t we more careful?

Violence In Front Of Children

I’ve never been violent in front of children, but I’ve been drunk in front of them, smoked in front of them, and sworn in front of them.

So what did they learn from me?

What Did You Do In Front Of Children?

And after you’ve asked yourself the question.

Maybe ask what they learned from you.

Do Kids Learn Violence And Other Shameful Behavior From TV?

I’m sure kids and young adults do learn anti-social behavior from films and television.

But which is more important, what they learn from the media or from you?

Worried About Your Child Or Children?

Violence In Front Of Children

Parents who are closely involved with their offspring are far more likely to monitor their child’s behavior.

They will also set rules and boundaries and make sure that they are obeyed.

They will always be aware of their children’s whereabouts.

And will steer them away from troubled playmates.

So Let’s Be Honest With Ourselves

Nearly everybody is now complaining about how rude and thoughtless kids and young adults are today.

But next time you complain, please ask yourself what they learned from you.

This entry was posted in asperger, autism, brain, children, doctors, family, Misconceptions, parents and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

14 Responses to Violence! Kids Learn From Watching Adults! Please Remember It!

  1. peterson says:

    "We know that our behavior influences children so why aren’t we more careful?".
    It might be better to ask why people do things that are harmful to themselves, and then we might be able to answer why adults do such things in front of children.
    People know that smoking is dangerous and that even if it doesn’t kill you that it negatively affects your health, yet some people that are dying of lung cancer continue to smoke even when they’re literally on their death beds in hospital.
    Others ruin their lives and destroy their loved one’s lives by excessive drinking or gambling etc.
    Why do they do it?
    My feeling is that the use and abuse of drugs and alcohol (and other addictive habits) appear to offer a means of escape from the pressures of life, from reality, but it is always at a cost to the user.
    It is important to remember that there are different levels of substance use and abuse, ranging from the casual use to addictive abuse of substances.
    Society, through advertising and a willingness to accept certain constructs, encourages the casual use of some substances.
    Alcohol is presented as a way to relax and unwind by putting the cares of the day behind you and more recently advertising has made it more acceptable to seek drugs to reduce anxiety, to treat depression, to lose weight, and to fix a hundred and one other problems that people face on a daily basis.
    A pattern is set and reinforced which says that it is acceptable to temporarily distort or reduce your perception of a problem, or delay dealing with it through working at finding solutions, through the selective use of substances.
    The above doesn’t explain why people do a lot of other negative things, but hopefully it’s a start, and I’m sure we’ll get some additional feedback.

  2. big-thoughts says:

    Just a couple of thoughts on what I believe causes siblings to be so completely different from one another when they grow up.

    A younger and smaller sibling would probably be ill advised to punch an older brother on the nose because the punch would most likely be returned, and older kids generally punch harder than younger ones.

    But the same younger sibling who learns through hard experience to control himself at home might well be a bully at school if he happens to be larger or stronger than some of the other children of his age.

    These days, as against a couple of generations ago, children for the most part only interact with their siblings when they’re at home, and outside of the home environment they spend most of their time in the company of their peers, and a child who submits to an older sibling at home might well be a leader in his or her nursery school classroom.

    Of course children learn a great many things at home, but they learn many new things and very different things when they’re away from it.

  3. thebear says:

    Simple answer really, its because we are older, we put our collective emotions on them and forget what it was like to be their age. Sometimes it’s good to be young in heart and sentiment. Maybe we spend our lives trying to make our children to be adults and don’t allow ourselves enough time to be children?

  4. no-shmuck says:

    Nice answer honey; I mean bear πŸ˜‰

    Funnily enough I was talking to somebody today about the world cup.

    The US captain said that when they played England last week that the US team immediately sensed fear in the English team.

    The result was 1-1 even though the US team were 8/1 underdogs.

    There is a saying in the soccer world that the English play soccer and the Italians work soccer.

    It might have been true at one time but it no longer seems that the English ‘play’ soccer and the fear of losing or winning now prevents them from playing like the Brazilians for example who do ‘play’ soccer.

    They want to win, but they play!

  5. gillian says:

    I remember reading a long time ago that the order in which children are born into a family has a big effect on the siblings and it sounds to me like a reasonable hypotheses.

    The idea went something like the first child gets more or less dethroned when a second child is born, but whereas the second child gets spoiled, subsequent ones get much less attention.

    Is there any scientific proof that the theory holds water?

  6. knopfman says:

    Although the general public widely believes in what is known as birth order, the theory is no longer trusted by many, if not most psychologists.

    It is very difficult if not impossible to research birth order because of the difficulty of controlling all the variables such as family size and demographics.

    For example, large families are generally lower in socioeconomic status than small families, so a third born child is more likely to come from a poorer family so a particular trait may be attributable to his being third in line or to his coming from a large and poor family.

  7. eagerwatcher says:

    I did read something that might interest you boys πŸ˜‰

    There is something called the fraternal order which is the name given to the observation that the more older brothers a man has, the greater the likelihood there is that he will have a homosexual orientation.

    The fraternal birth order effect is in fact the strongest known predictor of sexual orientation, with each older brother increasing a man’s odds of being gay by approximately 33%.

    There seems to be no effect on sexual orientation in women, and no effect of the number of older sisters. πŸ™‚

  8. thebear says:

    Hogwash, pish, piffle!

    Statistics are not human.

    I am one of 6 brothers, the 2 dead ones didn’t get beyond a few hours old. Being the eldest son and the third male to survive after my two older sisters were born (work it out people) and having three younger brothers there should be one of us who is gay…. bit there isn’t that statistic value being applied here.

    Without escaping the question, I remember my youngest brother, replying to the question as to what he wanted for Christmas, “my own pyjamas”!

  9. donald-drake says:

    Interesting comment from a Bear if you know what I mean πŸ˜‰

    And the fact that he is the eldest son would seem to cast doubt on the theory that Eagerwatcher posted.

    It would be interesting to know more about the pajamas’s thing though …

  10. Ignoramus says:

    It’s not only children who grow.

    Parents do too.

    As much as we watch to see what our children do with their lives, they are watching us to see what we do with ours.

    I can’t tell my children to reach for the sun.

    All I can do is reach for it, myself.

    ~Joyce Maynard

  11. Michael Redbourn says:

    Well if you feel like taking a fairly frightening look at how much we affect or don’t affect our children then maybe take a look at this video clip by Joseph Chilton Pearce, author of The Crack in the Cosmic Egg and Magical Child.

    How Adults Affect Children

    In it he states empirically that children are only affected 5% by what we say, and adds that that current problems with child raising are so immense as to be virtually insolvable.

    The clip is from Thinking Allowed which is a website based on a TV series and it carries a whole selection of videos.

    • Gladys says:

      The clip is great but I’m not sure how I can change what my two teenage children pick up from me or others.

      For better or worse, I personally know that children are highly affected by divorce and some remain affected throughout their entire lives.

      No matter how smoothly a marriage ends or how many relationships are patched up, the children remain victims of this epidemic that’s spreading throughout the West and perhaps the world.

      Though school-age children seem to cope much better with the separation of their parents, there are still many problems that they face, because they are either afraid of punishment and abandonment or the possibility of being replaced by other kids.

      They tend to suffer academically and also suffer in relationships at school.

      Anger, anxiety, uneasiness, and physical symptoms are other ways in which they react.

  12. Jake-the-hake says:

    Studies show that we remember 80-90% of what we see and touch, and only 10-15% of what we hear.

    So listening and remembering a lot of words is obviously not the best way to learn.

    And talking is obviously not the best way to teach.

    Adults learn differently to children because adults and young adults come to the learning with experiences, and the older the person, the more experiences they’re likely to come with.

    Have you ever been on a ski-slope and wondered at those five year olds that zoom past you while you’re carefully maneuvering on the slope?

    Why are they able to ski so fast, so quickly?

    Because they have no experience of falling, and even if they did, it’s only a foot and a half to the ground so it’s no big deal.

    They have no experience of running into trees, like I have, they have no experience of another skier running into them, like I have.

    So please do think about how you act in front of children because they learn a lot more from your actions than your words.

  13. Monica Lind says:

    Kids learn their behavior not only from their parents but also from other people. Basically people they see everyday – friends, family, other adults, etc. – and something they watched on TV.

    Some kids though grow up not exactly like their parents but manifest the effects of their parent’s behavior. They may grow up behaving the opposite because they’ve learned to not be like their parents. Kids are impressionable and learn habits from parents, but I think as they grow up there will be other influences and they’ll learn from those, too.

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